She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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