The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Randomize
