i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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