I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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