I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize