nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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