Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
