Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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