Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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