question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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