I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
