How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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