i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
