is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
