I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize