I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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