Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
"it" just moved
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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