we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
