Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
