I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
