I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
