We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize