i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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