Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
