weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
