how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you will always have a special place in my vag
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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