Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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