# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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