I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
