Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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