he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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