God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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