did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize