You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
