I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
