I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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