Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize