i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize