A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
