i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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