Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize