I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
