it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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