Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
