We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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