i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
