So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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