Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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