he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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