I'm gonna have a badass scar
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
cat food counts as protein by the way
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize