he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
