my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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