You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize