Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
